Overcoming Low Self-Esteem
The effects on a person are VERY real.
Do you often feel self-doubt and shame?
Are you particularly critical or have a low opinion of yourself?
Are you constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling inferior to them?
These can be a part of anxiety and depression, but low self-esteem can exist all on its own.
Our self-esteem affects our overall well-being.
It influences our values.
Low self-esteem lowers your ability to have a meaningful existence. It keeps you from feeling worthy of having good things in life.
It affects how we treat ourselves and others.
If a person has low self-esteem, they often compare themselves to others critically. This impedes building healthy relationships. A person with low self-esteem may retreat from interacting socially with others. Some people with self-esteem issues end up being the bully toward others.
It affects the way we feel, act, and make decisions.
If you have been internalizing a narrative of “I can’t do that” or “I’m not good enough” in your head for any length of time, you have conditioned yourself to believe those are facts instead of just thoughts. These affect your ability to make decisions like choosing a career, activities, or even a relationship.
It is the measurement of our feelings of confidence, value, and worthiness.
Low confidence and self-esteem can be debilitating for clients. They don’t feel worthy of a relationship unless it is toxic. Or they don’t feel like they deserve to have a better job/career even though they’ve graduated from college in a field they love.
Sometimes, they feel as though they are imposters in their field even though they are well-respected and admired. People are living their lives with these emotional barriers, and it is truly causing inner pain.
Many things influence self-esteem…
… including your family of origin and school life experiences.
The recognition of your accomplishments.
The acceptance of your mistakes.
Whether you’ve been listened to and spoken to respectfully.
You have received appropriate attention and affection… these all factor into your self-esteem.
Taking on challenges and meeting those challenges, like participating in a sport or achieving in academics, also shape our self-esteem.
Adolescence, a period marked by increased social activity and the importance of peer relationships, is a critical period for self-esteem development.
However, if your formative years were not optimal – if, for example, you were emotionally abused, ignored, teased, harshly criticized, or expected to be perfect most of the time – it is possible your self-esteem has suffered a hit.
We will develop a healthy therapeutic relationship.
To help develop a therapeutic connection with you, I will do my best to help you feel welcome by making eye contact, engaging you in conversation, assuring you feel safe.
I will ask you what you would like to get out of therapy sessions. I understand that relationships take time, and I will provide a nonjudgmental environment for you to ease into and speak your mind.
Sometimes, when low self-esteem is an issue for a client, this may take longer. When working with these issues, I will implement some affirming work to take home and help you recognize the positive traits and abilities you possess. This will all work together to build a trusting bond, caring, and mutual respect necessary for treatment to be successful.
Here’s what we’ll do together in therapy…
We’ll assess if anxiety or depression is underlying your low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can be a symptom of anxiety or depression or serves to exacerbate them. People with low self-esteem often feel self-doubt and sometimes shame. They often spend lots of time criticizing themselves.
Low self-esteem can be a symptom of several mental health conditions, such as anxiety and depression. Low self-esteem does not have its diagnosis in the DSM but can be debilitating.
We’ll explore your history to determine when your low self-esteem began.
Sadly, low self-esteem can come from childhood. A history of child abuse or bullying can contribute to low self-esteem. When adults harshly criticize children for mistakes, kids may internalize those messages. Even if it is not abusive, if a parent or adult complimented you in a back-handed way like “That B is great! Maybe next time, you can get an A.” It doesn’t sound adverse, but hearing it repeatedly, sends a message to your brain that says, “I’m not good enough.”
Those who have less severe histories can still have low self-esteem. For example, if other children teased you for being different, you may have developed a low sense of self. Sometimes girls can have low self-esteem because their moms were so concerned and negative about their looks that their daughters started feeling they didn’t look good either.
In adulthood, any demoralizing life experience can reduce self-esteem. A break-up, loss of employment, and other life changes can cause fear or self-doubt. These feelings can affect one’s self-worth, confidence, and resilience.
Low self-esteem is complicated but is reversible.
We’ll start to work on reaffirming your value.
We will put together some new challenges for you to meet today.
Challenges like something you’ve always wanted to try, but “I can’t do that” kept you from it. This can be anything – doing a speech, talking with new people, singing in front of someone, taking a class, writing something, getting your driver’s license, surfing, starting a walking program. You name it.
We add it to your goals, and you start. With baby steps, but you start. The more you accomplish, the better you will feel, the higher your self-esteem will soar. This may take some effort, but the results are worth it.
We will start with affirmations that you will practice at home. These affirmations’ content will start simple to get you used to reciting at least one per day.
We will process some of your history and challenge the memories you have that promoted negative beliefs you hold about yourself. In a session, the challenge may be for you to accept a compliment. As I help you recognize your attributes and abilities, I may genuinely compliment you. You will learn to accept it. That is practice for the outside world. I may ask you to do some journaling of your feelings about yourself in certain situations between sessions.
You’ll come to appreciate how you’re unique and special.
Overall, people with high self-esteem feel good about themselves and their progress through life. You will become one of those people. We will discover positive and amazing aspects of you!
Person-centered therapy will focus on you and allow you to tell your story. This is a great way for us to get to know each other and become comfortable sharing your experience with me. It is designed to help build trust, which is the core of our therapeutic connection.
If your self-esteem is caused by anxiety, depression, or trauma, we will intervene using techniques to process them. Mindfulness helps with self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. We can implement some techniques associated with that.
Mindfulness helps you live the moment at hand and involves proper breathing, which allows you to reset your focus. Affirmations are an effective strategy, as are self-care and positive self-talk versus being self-critical. As we work, we will use therapeutic techniques that we agree upon during your sessions.
It is time to feel positive about yourself.
Are you ready to explore your inner self?
Isn’t it time to stop comparing yourself to others?
Are you ready to conquer your inner critic?
Now is a great time to call me at (941) 404-5922 for a free 15-minute consultation – either during this call or scheduled. I will briefly ask and answer questions, and we will determine if we are a good fit to work together.